There are those times when it feels a bit strange being the mother. I feel so much like I still need a mother and now I must be that mother that I wish for. I'm in Boulder trying to decide if I should turn around and head back to St. George to provide the comfort and moral support that a very pregnant girl needs from her mother. Her doctor visit last week put her about halfway there and yesterday she lost the mucus plug and spent the rest of the day and night with nausea and diarrhea. She was trying to decide if it was a symptom of labor that would arrive soon or if she had just picked up a bug at work since no one has been sick at home. Boulder is a long way from the action, especially if it comes fast. Then there is the need for "the mother" when the tiny baby arrives and you're trying to get her to nurse and determine if everything is alright and keep her that way. I keep thinking "and what do I know about all this other than I have two that survived to adulthood." But I do miss my mother for back-up and reinforcements or even just a second opinion. I do hope that I have the opportunity to stick around long enough to be that secondary reinforcement for Geneya and this new little granddaughter that is planning her arrival as I write this. I also know that all I have to do is listen in that different way of hearing and my mother will provide that assistance I need now as well.
In my meditation LaRae indicated that would be her field of activity and support for a while. I asked her a little bit about the arrival of Homer and she said that such an arrival is always anticipated just as a birth is in this world. Only you go through a similar period of trauma and strain passing over. I called and talked to Richard, Homer's son, and he said that yes, Howard was experiencing periods of confusion and dementia since he broke a vertebrate in a fall last summer, and agreed that he was on his way out most likely. I then called Joan last night and told her which seems one thing I should do since she was related to Homer two or three different ways even though she had not seen him anymore than I did. So we had a nice talk about a lot of other stuff, too. So a birth to me is always the two worlds coming closer as a tiny spirit comes into the world and people both here and there are in attendance. If all goes well, everyone is relieved and happy. So wishing that the new baby will arrive safely into this life.
ReplyDeleteIf you feel the urge...go! I too hope for a very safe arrival..and I will leave it up to you two mothers to provide what safety net you can. The arrival of a new baby always make one feel like hovering. Give a kiss from me!
ReplyDeleteGreat picture...of Grandma Rae!
ReplyDeleteIt is so exciting and so darn nerve racking. Life is full of paradoxes and we have to make peace with them. Boulder can make you feel rather isolated when something so import is going on. I say go early and stay late. There is noone who can reassure like a mother. LaRae will be whispering in your ear and cheering you on. We'll all be anxious to hear of the blessed event.
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