Last Thursday, I woke up remembering a dream I had about my mother-in-law. I dreamed we were in Hurricane or some place like that and we were going to activities, ballgames, etc. She was getting tired and laid down on a bed. I went over to her and covered her up and patted her for a few minutes. I noticed in my dream that she was wearing her shoes in the bed. Then I woke up. She is in assisted living and is struggling with dementia. When I dream about her, I think it is my warning that she needs some attention but since we were going over to see her the next day, I figured I would check it out then. That day a person from her assisted living called and wanted to meet with us on Monday to talk about some behaviors. We figured she was getting fisty with residents again and thought we might need to talk to her doctor after to change medication. So I figured that was what my dream was about. On Saturday morning, I got a phone call from the hospital. Her assisted living people had called the ambulance because she was having severe back and chest pains. They had left a message on the home phone, so I didn't know she was there. The hospital had decided to send her home. I told them I would come over and get her. I raced over and went into the Emergency Room with her. She was glad to see me and doing much better. The doctor had decided that the problem was muscular and that she would be ok. I waited until they prepared the paperwork to discharge her. When it was time to go, I started to help her get out of the bed so she could get dressed. When I pulled back the covers, she still had her shoes on in the bed. My dream was very accurate. I took her home and helped her to shower. I wanted her to rest but she can't stand to stay in her room. When we met about behavior on Monday, she is following the workers around. She is at a new stage of the dementia. She follows us as well. We take her to our house to see her dog and the kids and then take her back home. She follows us back to the car and doesn't know this is her home. She isn't as agitated when she's with us but she's more lost. It's probably time to increase care, but we are trying to decide the next best place so she doesn't need another change. These are tough decisions. I'm glad we had her live with us for a couple of years so I know that it wouldn't work to move her back, because I'm compelled at each stage but I know better. It's hard to see her lost and confused it's easier as she gets less aware but also harder. She can't help much with telling what she needs or what would make things better so I'll pay close attention to my dreams.
This is a very sad entry. Many people have to go through this and it is so difficult for the care givers and the decision makers. The bright spot was that you were able to have this very accurate dream and get the feeling that you will pay attention to your dreams even more than usual. Your two years with Fae probably meant to her that you cared enough to go through what was indeed hard. Now it is time for her to make whatever adjustment is necessary. My heart felt blessings to you and Steve.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like it is time for her to go into a care center like Panguitch. I wonder if that would not be a good option, putting you closer to where you are actually living and where Ann could stop in and see her, too. I thought Panguitch care center handled advanced cases of dementia as well as anywhere we saw, then the ones who were wheel chair bound, too. Anyway talk to Ann who knows this care center inside and out, better than I do.
ReplyDeleteThat is really weird, Gerry, as I read about Fae, I was thinking the same thing. I always liked Fae and she can talk! Since I'm now going down to the care center each week, I would take her on as my special project. The nice thing about this care center is that they have the one row of beds for individual patients if they get too bad, but are in a room with someone they can also talk to when not so bad. There are some good workers. I think Fae would enjoy them. I think you should think about it at least...you could visit coming and going.
ReplyDeleteYour dream was uncanny, Cheryl. Yours would make one believe in dreams! I could drop in to visit. Mother was on sort of a schedule..even down to physical therapy. They do have people come in to entertain quite a bit...and have church. (Or not)
I think the routine helps those with dementia or in wheel chairs. You could come and take her out for lunch and I'd be happy to tend the dogs until she could eat then come and see them. Since you are closer, it's a thought!
It is always amazing to realize how accurate your dreams can be. Sorry to hear Faye is having a tough time. Panguitch might be good for you, but what about the rest of the family who also probably want to see her. Panguitch was, for sure, good for Mother. There were people she knew from childhood in here. STRANGE!...the word for me to type in for security when I went to post this was
ReplyDelete"roving." On the second posting the word was "zoodois." I think this message is to keep your sense of humor through all of this.